It was just a single
sob at first, a quick, hysterical inhalation. Then a second. And then I
couldn’t stop it. Tears, a flood of them. I felt the sand grow cold and
muddy under my face, felt my body shuddering uncontrollably. He didn’t
tell me it was okay. He didn’t try to pull me against him or onto his
lap. He kept his hand on my shoulder and sat silent next to me.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop. I’d let go, and now the river would flow un-dammed.
No. No. I shook my head, clenched my teeth, lifted up and let myself
fall down hard, sending a spear of pain spiderwebbing out from my arm.
The pain was a drug, and I accepted it greedily. It was a dam, stemming
the tide of tears….
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